In a conference that concluded at Abudhabi recently, Al-Qaeda’s board of directors unanimously decided to bring in more diversity in terms of non-muslim recruits. This is taken as a very positive move towards growth and is suspected to have been inspired by the Tata’s Diversity & Inclusion initiative. Meanwhile, Patels and Grujars have decided to join hands and asked for an 8.33% reservation in Al-Qaeda. The Al-Qaeda chief also agreed that it would be wise to hire engineers which can come at better ROIs due to widespread unemployment amongst them. Moreover, he also looked positive in raising the 341th round of funding to burn cash faster than some of the biggest names of the Indian start-up sector. He also added that Lalu’s win in Bihar is heralding the Ache Din for its plan to disrupt growth in India.
In line with their aggressive hiring plans to push projects, they have decided to partner with an exponentially growing recruitment start-up in India: Zigsaw. Also, note that you can also refer this opportunity to a friend/family and win a referral incentive of 5k on successful referrals.
Business Development Manager: Coordination with ground forces to understand their requirement and communicate the same to the Engineering Division. Also, to capture continuous feedback from existing territories of dominance and ensure sustainable growth. To also be on the constant look-out for growth avenues
Content Writer: Ability to write hate speeches for Owasi & other patriots to bring down the growth rate of the country. update the content on the Website and blog regularly to up the Alexa ratings
Engineers: Enhance the auto-pilot mode for ZT-291s and help in the design of Zugara tanks. Also to take ownership of enhancements and provide for the automation of SR-257s as per customer feedback.
Compensation: Basic: 18LPA Target based incentives (No Bar for the right candidate)
About our Work-culture: We are a very young team with dreams. We are a flat organization and fresh ideas of destruction are always welcome. Although, we are a target driven workforce; we provide flexibility in terms of cross-functional deputation to help in the all-round development of individuals. Emotions are at the core of our operations and we provide for an annual family (all expenses paid) foreign trip to a location of our choice in the Middle-east.
An experience to have worked in the cultural team of your College fests would be a huge plus. This helps us to utilize your expertise for creating non-required protests and bringing national growth at our mercy. If you have to lead a team of blind followers based on caste, geography, demography or language, Search no more !!
Disclaimer: The above articles is a satire and should not be taken in the literal sense.
Article By: Gavaksh Singh